We know you love your bird dog, but how much would you consider paying if someone kidnapped the pooch and drove him across the country? I know of a certain family member that would be thankful for it; no more waking up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday to yell out the window because his Lab's barking just woke up everyone in the county.

But Craig Dershowitz, a 34-year-old man from New York City, has already shelled out over $60,000 in lawyers' fees for his puggle, Knuckles. Seems as though his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brega, made off to California with the half-pug, half-beagle pup after the two broke up.

Brega says Knuckles was a gift. Meanwhile, Dershowitz is trying to win his "son" back in Manhattan state Supreme Court, spending more than what many people make in a year to do so.

With the "custody" fight raging, the proud papa has started a website to raise money for his court costs. People willing to donate $250 — he raised $85 in the first week — can play fetch with Knuckles as a reward for their charity. For the sake of common decency, I will not list that web address. But if you want to fill Dershowitz's coffers, by all means conduct your own Internet search.

I'm more worried about the kind of stress this entire ordeal is putting on Knuckles (a cross-country move followed by a bitter custody battle making national headlines)? It's always the kids that pay.