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All the Dumb Questions You've Been Too Afraid to Ask

Sometimes two answers are better than one!

All the Dumb Questions You've Been Too Afraid to Ask

I get hundreds of questions every year and try to provide helpful answers—on my TV show and podcast, in messages and emails, and on social media, where other fans often have better answers than mine! (Photo By: Scott Linden)

Some questions are too tempting to put to rest with good advice or an insightful comment. They cry out for more, which is easy for someone with my meager literary qualifications. But my editor and lawyer insist I provide another answer that is, well, as close to helpful as I ever get. So, read both answers and get a two-fer!

close up photo dog nose
You said “come” … here I am boss. (Photo By: Scott Linden)

Bird Dog Training Questions

german wirehaired pointer with pigeon dog training
You want me to point THAT? (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: What is the best method to convince your children to not undo your dog's training?

Answer #1: Build outside kennels. Supply plenty of fresh water and bring them in periodically to socialize. While it may get cold and wet, they’ll get used to it, and the whining and yelping should cease fairly quickly. Your dog will also do fine out there.

Answer #2: Recruit them as training assistants—and train them along with your dog. They’ll learn the right words, actions, and how screwing them up leads to hard(er) work for everyone. You’ll also cultivate interest in the logical culmination of dog training—a hunting trip.


QUESTION: I have a two-year-old German shorthaired pointer and she won't comply unless I put the e-collar on, then she listens just fine. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Answer #1: Usually the trainer has rushed the teaching process. Keep the collar on most of the day and return to basic yard work. Start with low stimulation and increase as necessary to ensure compliance. Once you’ve mastered the basics, put the collar on the dog.

Answer #2: Eliminate enticing distractions. Back to the yard, check cord if needed, and give her good reasons to recall to you come hell or high water: Praise and rewards, or reeling in on the cord. When you know she totally understands the behavior you want and still disobeys, a very light tingle from the collar can be a helpful reminder.

QUESTION: If you could purchase only one item to help someone training a hunting dog what would it be?


Answer #1: If I had to narrow it down, it would be something liquid from the Islay region of Scotland, preferably 18 years old.

Answer #2: Calmness, patience, tolerance: priceless. If you really want to spend money, buy a flock of pigeons and get on wild birds whenever possible. They will train your dog better than any book, video, or gadget.

QUESTION: Help! My dog won't come to me when called.

Answer #1: He doesn’t come when I call him, either.

Answer #2: Go back to basic yard work. Check cord-reel him in and praise him up. Food treats if you must. Add distractions while you add length to the cord. Unclip and reinforce. Add more distractions and ebullient praise. Make him want to come to you because it’s the highlight of his day. Likewise, do not discipline a dog that eventually comes to you, no matter how long it took and how mad you are.

dogs tied up on a chain gang
When’s it MY turn, boss? (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: How do I teach my three-year-old chocolate Lab to stop chasing a pheasant in the air after I miss it? Please don't tell me to learn to shoot better.

Answer #1: You’d think after three years of not shooting better, your dog would lower his expectations. Mine did.

Answer #2: Learn “hup” from the spaniel trainers. Make the flushing bird a command to sit, or at least stand still.

QUESTION: How do you get a year-old Lab to understand what you want him to do? Sometimes he just doesn't get it.

Answer #1: Wait until he’s a five-year-old Lab.

Answer #2: Break a command into smaller pieces. Teach each component individually, then start chaining them together. Provide tons of rewards. Insist on his doing the job right and don’t jump ahead. In other words, reinforce every command.

Dog Breed and Care Questions

two dogs in a crate
Did someone say BIRDS? (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: What is the best dog for pheasant hunting?

Answer #1: Someone else’s.

Answer #2: If I lived in South Dakota, I’d own a big-shouldered Lab or nimble field-bred cocker. Ditch parrots seldom hold for a pointer and thus drive it nuts. Okay, more nuts.

QUESTION: What do you think of a Labradoodle for hunting?

Answer #1: (Sound of crickets chirping.)

Answer #2: Burrs. Seeds. Tangles. Mud. Be prepared for serious Setter-level post-hunt grooming. But why not?

QUESTION: My dog is in a constant state of shedding both in the house and truck. Can I do anything about it?

Answer #1: Despite the claims by some “doodle-type” breeders, all dogs shed. The solution is to own furniture, carpets, and truck upholstery that matches the color of your dog. If your dog is ticked, spotted, or striped, buy two homes and two trucks.

Answer #2: Actually, grooming could help. The wirehair breeds even need “plucking,” your hands pulling guard hairs. Some dogs can benefit from dietary changes but ask your veterinarian first.

man holding a gordon setter puppy
Honey, can I keep him? (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: My wife allowed me to get a goldendoodle and said I could train it for hunting. She told me to ask you for any recommendations.

Go straight to Answer #2

Answer #1: Treat it like a Golden. Really, what’s stopping you? And remember even poodles were water dogs back before smokeless powder.

QUESTION: What is the best dog for a slow old man?

Answer #1: A slow old dog.

Answer #2: Close-working spaniels, or a Labrador if you like flushers. Pointing breeds include some of the Griffons and Spinone Italiano. Shop carefully.

New Dog and New Owner Questions

yellow labrador retriever puppy
So much potential … so much havoc. (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: For someone who is starting out with his first hunting dog, what can I expect to go wrong?

Answer #1: There are not enough bits and bytes in the worldwide web to answer your question. Please purchase my new 1,438-page book on the topic. Here is advice from Chapter 367: Invest in a GPS collar. Don’t worry about other hobbies, family or friends, as the laws of physics and the space-time continuum will eliminate any free time you had pre-puppy.

Answer #2: Seriously, most problems are “operator error,” for example not reinforcing commands, from obedience to bird work. Another is moving forward too fast—a dog should be close to flawlessly executing a command, then “proofed” by multiple distractions in various locations. One more hard-earned lesson: Most obedience and behavioral problems can be traced back to a dog not getting enough exercise. And another: Dogs cost money, from good food to veterinary care. Do the math before you put down a deposit.

QUESTION: How long does it take to train a dog?

Answer #1: A year should be sufficient for me to tell you how long it will take to train a dog.  

Answer #2: A lifetime—yours and his. The joy of bird dogs is you can both grow, constantly. Train for hunt tests and trials, duck blinds for versatile dogs or uplands for retrievers. “Finish” him to a higher standard than he is now. The cerebral and physical challenges will keep you both sharp and in better shape.

QUESTION: Do you ever hunt without a dog?

Answer #1: Why?

Answer #2: See answer #1.

Bird Hunting Questions

chukar hunter climbing rocky canyon
The birds are up there? (Photo By: Scott Linden)

QUESTION: Is it better to use two dogs at a time while hunting?  

Answer #1: Yes, unless they are my two dogs.

Answer #2: Better in some ways: They’ll cover twice as much territory and find more birds, or if you want to rotate them and always have a fresh dog ready. Worser if you want to relax and saunter through the woods without the stress of monitoring two bundles of canine energy going in opposite directions.

QUESTION: How can I get to go hunting with you?

Answer #1: I’m always looking for guests on the TV show, especially if they shoot well and let me take credit. Please send a detailed letter, written in the margin of as many $50 bills as needed to draft a convincing proposal.

Answer #2: Stand by for next year’s furfeathersfriends.com event.

QUESTION: When does a bird dog really enter his prime?

Answer #1: About the time your knees give out. 

Answer #2: There are so many variables, mainly depending on how many bird contacts a dog gets. Most dogs start showing talent and skill in their second season. Every time we have this discussion at a tavern, five years old is the most common age that is kicked around.

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